Saturday, November 08, 2008

no matter... its fast!

Cheti would always have his hands into the latest applications (atleast when in college), Shiv would always have his hands into the latest games. I did neither. All I had was my Windows 98 on my Intel P3, and since that combo could hardly run either of the two, I'd usually end up at Shekar's place playing games n tryin out new apps.

And he called once, all excited, saying, "Dude, I got a brand new AGP card. GeForce! "

I was like, "Whoa! When?"

"Today, evening, from lammy. Its awesome dude! Its 8X, AGP2.0, GeForce (and all the specs, which went on for like a minute)"

"Nicccccce", dragging that 'nice' along felt good since I hardly got what he said.

"Err... but there's a problem dude.."

"Yea?", most likely, I knew what the problem would be: something like, he couldn't fix it, couldn't install the drivers, or some technical difficulty which would typically require me to go over and install it.

"I don't have an AGP slot"

Bwahahahahahahahaha! :D

Sunday, August 26, 2007

remote control

MSN Messenger's got lots of features, and the best ones let you shutdown someone else's computer!

Like this one time, I was just kinda bored and was screwing around with Messenger's features. So after trying all other things I invited Shekhar to start NetMeeting. And without a word he accepted.
So I started the Share a Desktop Service. Now he could see my Desktop and everything. He browsed through My Computer, went into a drive, renamed a folder from 'Shivo proj' to 'Lamer proj'. (hehehe..)
Then after he had his fill, I asked him to share his desktop to me. Now I could see his desktop, his My Computer etc. etc.. So now I went through his folders, files.. etc. etc..

After getting majorly bored, I went in his Start Menu. And due to my then dial-up connection it took a long time to display. All I could see was the 'Shut Down...' menu item.
So I clicked it! :D
And he jumped up from his seat, "Hey!", and quicky pressed Esc to relinquish control!
Damn, I was so close! I should have shut down his PC!
Never again has he accepted my NetMeeting invites! :D

"Hmm.., let me run it again.. maybe it's command line based."
I wrote a really silly program once.
Not the real Machine Debug Manager, a fake, which looked just like Microsoft's Machine Debug Manager. Complete with all the details like, Company name, Description, Version etc etc.
Except the Version was slightly higher than the mdm version available at that time. Oh and also that this mdm.exe would quickly eat up free disk space by making junk files. It was just for fun, and actually had started as a way to test my drive's speed by filling it up with 25-50 mb worthless files. It worked great on my PC.
Then I modified it, renamed it to mdm.exe, changed everything to make it look like Microsoft's MDM (even the default icon) and sent it to Prashant, telling him its a new version of mdm and works better.
He promptly run it.
And it didn't show him any interface, or any dialog, but it started its work. Quickly filling up his C: drive.
But what was funnier is that, he thought it was command prompt based (and hence he didn't get any dialog) so he started it one more time via command prompt!
Unfortunately, my dial-up connection disconnected. So after various attempts, when I finally got through, the first message to greet me from Prashant was something like:

He's never again gonna accept exe files from me! :D
(I then told him which files to delete and which process to stop.)

'This is computer speaking...'
But the best remote control incident was in college.
We used to use GoverLAN to govern all the different PC's in the Lab. And one of its best features was a much better version of NetMeeting's Desktop Sharing. Here you could pre-configure it to not even ask the remote computer's confirmation, as admin rights allowed us to take control of PCs anytime.
So this one time, we had lectures in the Lab, and Web maam was trying hard to erase 'Freinds' from her Powerpoint presentation (on the projector), with a duster/eraser on the board.
So after our fill of laughs, I spotted Shailesh and Mobin fiddling around with a PC. They had just logged in and were bumbling around. Now since Maam had asked to shut down all PC's, Shiv started GoverLAN on the server to shut it down from the server.
But I had an even better idea: I took control of the PC, started command prompt and typed thus:

Microsoft Windows 2000 [Version 5.00.2195](C) Copyright
1985-2000 Microsoft Corp.

C:\>This is computer speaking...
'This' is not recognized as an internal or external command,operable program or batch file.

C:\>what are you doing on this PC? pay attention to maam!
'what' is not recognized as an internal or external command,operable program or batch file.

C:\>Now shut down this PC!
'Now' is not recognized as an internal or external command,operable program or batch file.


And the best part is, it actually showed it type slowly. One letter at a time. And the first reaction by Shailesh was to look down at the keyboard.
I bet he expected to see the keys on they keyboard slowly getting pressed on their own!
Then Mobin started laughing. Shailesh was still confused, but he too started laughing. He didn't actually shut down the PC, so I did it for him.
Once the monitor went blank, they both looked at each other!
Then maam started teaching again, so they let it go.
But the three of us (admins) burst out laughing...
Ofcourse.. since class was still on, we couldn't really laugh...
so it was a very very difficult wait till the end of the lecture!

Sunday, May 20, 2007

i'm just this kid who studies in KC

I know my name ain't that easy to remember. Really! infact i've had the rare honour of having my name turned and twisted into a wide range of 'nicks'
[ Suresh a.k.a. Shuosh a.k.a. Suriyash a.k.a. Suyansh a.k.a. Zaosh a.k.a. Shushu a.k.a. Suyi a.k.a. Shushupal Singh ]
So what do you do when you want to call me up, but don't know what my name is?!

First Year!!
very very first few days of college!
It's a given not many know my name, let alone know it properly!
Jay wanted had some help with his PC and had taken my phone number at college.
Then he calls... and my dad answered.

Dad: Hello!
Jay: Hello?.. uh..
Jay thinking: "Shit! i forgot his name!!"
Jay: Uh hello.. woh ladka hai?
Dad: kaun?
Jay: uh.. uncle, aapka beta hai, joh KC mein padta hai?
Dad (comes up to me): Tu KC me padhta hai na?
Me: What??
Dad: Someone seems to have forgot your name! Here...
Hands me the phone.
Me: Hello?
Jay: Hello, Jay here. Sorry yaar, i forgot your name!!
Dad (to me): Tell him there's another one who studies in Jai Hind also, but he's not home.


Its ok that he forgot my name, but it was just ingenious the way he asked for me anyway!! :D

Saturday, March 10, 2007

the sympathy cut

In around SY, this guy Aditya, from Bio tech, had some serious accident. Poor guy had to get his head shaved for the operation and everything! (Never mind the fact that he was operated upon, I was more concerned that he had his head shaved!)

But I soon realized it was no big deal! Two days later Shekhar got his head shaved too!
Me: "What's this? Sympathy cut?"
Him: "Huh? No dude! Football!"
(What the..., I thought. Sympathy cut for a football? He does realize that footballs don't have hair!)
Him: "Its easier to shoot a header in football this way"
Me: "Oh!... Okay!"
Him: "...and also I'm hoping this will get rid of my dandruff"
Me: "Umm... I thought you're just making Aditya feel better, getting a haircut just like his. "
Me: "We should tell his entire class to get a shaved head. That way he won't feel left out."
Him: "Yeah! That'd be great! Then they can concentrate their shine on the head on the teacher and distract her in the class!"

Hahahaha :D

(I don't know why all of a sudden I was reminded of this!)

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Tuesday, October 03, 2006

divya says hi

I met Godfrey in FY, and instantly I detected a rapidly increasing brainwave pattern. He had that aura on him. Hes the kind of guy who picked up from where you left off.

Case in point.

Shekhar: "Want beer! (or more Pepsi! or India will lose the worldcup)" [Some of the mumbo jumbo Shekhar said that provoked a reaction]
Me: "You should be dead..."
Godfrey (picking up where I left): "And then some!"

And then one day...

Just a bit before KIRAN 2003 fest, I went searching for Shekhar. Along came Divya, (who didn't know that I knew Godfrey probably better than she'd have imagined), and tried to introduce me to him. I played along.
Divya: "Hey, meet Godfrey."
(this was gonna be fun!)
Me: "Hi, Godfrey. Suyash!"
Godfrey: "Hey Suyash."
Both of us trying to suppress a smile.
Me (@ Divya): "Have you seen Shekhar anywhere?"
Godfrey: "Oh I think he's in the Audi"
Me (thinking): "Damn you Godfrey!!! We just met! You weren't supposed to know who Shekhar is! But wait! I can fix this! Hope you catch up here"
Me (@ Godfrey): "Oh! You know Shekhar, do you?"
Divya (oblivious): "Oh yaa! He's Shekhar's good friend!"
Me: "Ah, I suppose you met him in KIRAN eh?"
Godfrey: "He's quite a character. Isn't he?"
Me: "Don't ask!"
Both supress bigger smile - look at each other.
Me: "If by any chance you meet him, tell him to go to the lab."
Divya: "OK"
Godfrey: "Sure. Suyash right?"
Me: "Yup. Tell him Suyash was looking for him."
Divya: "Sure"
(funny pause)
Me: "Nice meeting you Godfrey"
Godfrey: "My pleasure."
Me: "Oh and Godfrey..."
Godfrey: "Yea..?"
Me: "Finally got that haircut you were gonna get eh?"
Divya: "WHAT!??"

Monday, June 26, 2006

Oh these freaks!

I saw Shekar on MTV!
On Worldchart express, VJ Ramona was going round the premises of MTV offices and she was interviewing all the folks who work there. I knew she was bound to bump into Shekar eventually.
And how! He was wearing a bike helmet to work! Reason? - "Well, as you know, editing can be dangerous business".
(But actually, with Shekar, it's dangerous business for those around him!)
And Ramona's reaction? - "You can see, here at MTV we hire wierdos from different planets."

(Different planet reminds me of Gagan always calling Henal from Mars! I never really knew why.)
I never really knew what Shekar works as in MTV, and I'm sure they must have spent quite a lot of time figuring out what exactly it is that Shekar does there! Ultimately they just wrote - Shekar Pathak: Intern.

Weirdo indeed!

In SY, when Shekar came back from Delhi, he got with him a genuine Rs. 100 counterfeit note! It was a genuine counterfeit! Complete with a blotchy silver lining. The paper quality and no watermarks proved it being a fake.
Shekar probably never planned to use it. Although once, when he didn't have money for a sandwich here's what he did.
He orders the sandwich, eats it, and then asks me, "Dude, what do you call a utensil in Marathi?"
"A 'bartan'. Why?"
He then asks the sandwichwala (in his eloquent hindi): "Haan, kitna hua?"
Sandwichwala: "Dus"
Shekar: "Accha, paisa toh nahin hai... bartan kidhar hai?..."
Both the sandwichwalas looks wide-eyed at us and burst out laughing.
Then he bring out his fake 100 and says, "Khota paisa hai lekin!!"

I think later, Shekar's ma tore up that fake into two halves. She probably didn't trust him to not use it. I had the silver half for quite some time, and he had the other half.
I remember we once briefly planned to plant it in college somewhere and get someone in trouble. :D

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

The lift home

After an entire day at college (KIRAN 2003 as volunteers of the Comps. Dept.), we set off home. And on my usual path back I bumped into Khushboo.
"Chal, I'll drop you off home.", she insisted.
"Actually I prefer to walk, but sure.", I agreed.

"Cool! Free ride", I thought.

We set off, and her not knowing the way to my home, I was telling her to take a right, a left and such.
Now KC is not that far from my home. Its 10 mins walking distance (max). So by car it just took a minute to get there.
"Thanks a lot Boo. Now you know where I stay", I said.
But no reply from her. So I turned round and she had this fearful look in her eyes.
"You do know how to get back home don't you?"
"Howwww?", she really dragged that 'w'.
Then I spent some 5 minutes vainly trying to describe the way back to her place. (which wasn't more than a minute from there). But she didn't understand a bit.
So I sat back in the car and we set off. Not to her house. Back to college!
"You know the way to your home from here right?"
"Yaa!" (very cheerfully). She had the way back home down pat from college.
"Thanks for the lift home", I said with a huge smile on my face, standing right back where I had started.
And she gave me a sheepish little smile back, "Anytime!"