Poor kids, they're screwed.

So it goes this way. When you plan on doing something specific (not necessarily terrific). You end up doing something else instead (so don't eat my head). Which works out great!

I was going to write about some college stuff we did, and I will soon too.
But this just had to go up immediately.
You see, Shivprakash and I had gone to college on the way back home from some work. So we met up with Sujeet, the lab assistant and of course, where there's a Sujeet, there's always a Santosh. And boy, did Sujeet tell us a really cool incident or what!

You see after our batch left, lots of teachers also left, one after another. Too bad. Because some of them were good. Some. And now only a couple of the old teachers are there with the usual staff. So they are managing it all. And all that our batch can think is "Poor kids (TY now!). They're screwed", and all that the TY kids are saying now are, "Damn! We're screwed!". Plus now SQL Ma'am is the coordinator. Which was quite a logical decision as she is the next best thing. Well. Close enough.

But best at what?!

---

Ever since day one, (which I can't really remember) we have been fascinated by her fascination for food. She is undoubtedly the Jughead of our class. Of course, she's a teacher. So you can say she's a Jughead meets Ms. Grundy. :)
And now that she's the coordinator, Umesh simply suggested to put up the canteen's menu on the Computer Department's Notice Board. (It WILL save a lot of time y'know). And she is just the coordinator, not yet an HOD. (brrrr! How i shudder at that 'yet')

So Sujeet and Santosh are having a tough time with the new 'HOD' because she probably wants to put things back in order again.
Oh wait.
Correction:
...because she probably wants to place an order. Again! "Hello canteen? Vada Paw bhejo."



So it would be Santosh's fault if it doesn't reach on time or if its cold by the time. (No matter the fact that its kept right under the A/C). Of course it would be his fault! Wouldn't it? He can keep it hot for sure. After all he is the most hot tempered person there anyway! So acting on that, now he gets mad and vanishes off everytime he is needed in the lab. (which is surprisingly a lot now that HODs changed, and he has become indispensible now - brrrr! again)

What then?

---

This is what, according to me, is going to be a typical lab scene now:

Umesh is an ordinary kid in TY now, waiting for the HOD to be free so she can sign his journal.

Umesh: "Ma'am?..."
HOD: "Arrey Umesh, zara Santosh ko dhoond ke lao!"
Umesh: "Ma'am woh toh pata nahin kahan gaayab hogaya."
HOD: "Zaara, dekho na. Baahar hi hoga."
So Umesh goes outside.
Umesh: "Arrey, Sujeet sir, ye Santosh kahan hai?"
Sujeet: "Kya kaam hai"
Umesh (upset): "Arrey mujhe kuch kaam nahin hai re! Yeh Ma'am ne bola dhoondne ko. Ma'am ko kuch kaam hoga."
Sujeet (taking him aside): "Woh actually abhi aur kya kaam hoga! Lunch time hua na!"
Umesh (upset): "Arrey, ek kaam karo na! Canteen ka menu yahan notice board pe chaapva do na! Yeh kya ho raha hai yaar!"

(Translated)
This is what, according to me, is going to be a typical lab scene now:
Umesh is an ordinary kid in TY now, waiting for HOD to be free so she can sign his journal.
Umesh: "Ma'am?..."
HOD: "Ah, Umesh, just find Santosh."
Umesh: "Ma'am, I don't know where he vanished."
HOD: "Just check, He ought to be outside."
So Umesh goes outside.
Umesh: "Hey, Sujeet Sir, where's Santosh?"
Sujeet: "What work do you have?"
Umesh (upset): "I don't have any work! That Ma'am asked for him. She must be having some work!"
Sujeet (taking him aside): "Well actually what else now! Its lunch time!"
Umesh (upset): "Argh! Do one thing! Put up the canteen's menu on the notice board! What's going on here!"



Of course, the college carefully scrutinized and recruited new teachers.
(minutes of hysterical laughter)
Hee Hee. There's no end to that! Hee Hee.
I mean, the college is making sure the kids say, "Damn! We're screwed", more often!
So there's this new teacher - Ska Ma'am. Teaches java i think... That's besides the point. She's a good teacher. Heck! Even someone like Suhail - a nasty kid (a proverbial Gagan's follower) was quietly attending her lecture. But she's got a strabismus.

And that is a problem.

---

So one day in class:
Lecture begins and she asks the class to take notes. Everybody starts. Except Shabri. (that's Shabri! Oh do remind me to tell a cool Shabri joke later on). So Ma'am looks at her and says, "You! Why aren't you writing?". But Shabri doesn't say a word. Why? because before she could, the boy sitting next to her gets up and innocently says, "But Ma'am, I am writing!". Ma'am now points right in between the two and says, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to you!" (Still pointing right in between the two)

When Sujeet told this to us, we burst out laughing! I'm pretty sure the class must have also at that time. I'm sure my class would have. Infact, if it was my class, Gagan would have not let her off so easily.

Consider same scenario in my class, with Gagan sitting in one corner of the class and Shabri sitting in the opposite (far end) of the class. If ma'am would have said, "You! Why aren't you writing?". Before Shabri could have had time to say anything, Gagan would have had got up and said oh-so-innocently, "But ma'am, I'm writing!".
All the way across the class. Wicked!

---

Best Shabri joke ever:
Q. What would you call her if she was a news
reporter?
A. Shabri the Khabri!
Courtesy: Chetan

---